Girl Against the Universe by Paula Stokes

Author:Paula Stokes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-03-30T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 22

Back at school on Monday, I find myself dreading the end of the day and tennis practice.

Part of me needs to see Jordy, but part of me wants to avoid him forever. I try to put him out of my head.

But I fail. I fail in first hour and second hour. In third hour we have a test, so I manage to replace the hurt in his eyes and the tightness of his voice with trigonometric functions for about forty minutes. I’m just settling in on the steps outside of the school with my lunch and a book about an Irish girl who finds out she’s part faerie when I see his car pull into the parking lot.

I half-expect him to avoid me, but he strolls up the steps in his warm-up pants and T-shirt almost like nothing happened. I want to look up at him, see him smile, hear him say that everything is fine. But instead I concentrate really hard on my sandwich, because that’s easier.

He drops his backpack and tennis bag on the ground and sits next to me on the steps. “Why do you always eat by yourself?”

“I like eating by myself. Gives me time to read.” Without having to monitor everything.

“I won’t stay long then.” He nudges my flip-flop with his tennis shoe. “Are we cool?”

I look over at him. He’s backlit by the sun so his form is shaded. He looks unreal, like a photograph of a shadow. It’s impossible not to think about my face against his chest, and then, later, his jaw against my temple, his mouth in my hair. It is impossible not to stare at his lips and wonder.

Crap. He’s waiting for me to answer, and I’m sitting here gawking at him like a freshman girl. I swallow hard as I try to figure out what to say. I want us to be friends.

I want more than that, but I know I can’t keep pulling him close and then pushing him away when I get scared. “Well, from what I hear, you’re cool,” I say finally. “I’m more of a work in progress.”

“You’ll get there. You’re still young.” He grins. “Sorry I went all sensitive guy on you. It was sort of an intense weekend.”

“Don’t apologize for being you.” He’s working so hard to hold on to his identity. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he has to censor himself around me.

He gasps in mock outrage. “Are you calling me a sensitive guy?”

“Don’t worry.” I bump my knee against his “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“You’re the only girl who knows all my secrets. Well, you and my sister.” He snatches my sandwich right out of my hands and takes a bite out of it. “I’ve got to go barely pass a geometry exam,” he says through a mouthful of roast beef and cheese. He hands the sandwich back to me. “See you at practice.”

Coach ramps up our physical conditioning today, so we have to run a mile.

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